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Stirring the pot

| Friday, February 1, 2019

Retrieve your favorite wooden spoon or plastic spoon or really large stick or kind of small stick (twig) or spatula or fork or tongs or other. If the (wooden spoon / plastic spoon / really large stick / kind of small stick [twig] / spatula / fork / tongs / other) is unavailable ask a friend to lend you a (wooden spoon / plastic spoon / really large stick / kind of small stick [twig] / spatula / fork / tongs / other). You can also go to a store or bodega or shop or garage sale and buy a (wooden spoon / plastic spoon / really large stick / kind of small stick [twig] / spatula / fork / tongs / other), funds permitting. If there is no possible way for you to acquire a (wooden spoon / plastic spoon / really large stick / kind of small stick [twig] / spatula / fork / tongs / other), you can use clean hand(s). Retrieve your favorite pot (Note: Only your favorite pot will do). Locate water or broth or sauce or turnips or juice or meaning or mashed potatoes or succotash or beans or risotto or some other thing that you feel is worthy of your favorite pot. Retrieve the (water / broth / sauce / turnips / juice / meaning / mashed potatoes / succotash / beans / risotto / other) from its alcove (recommended: using a vessel of some sort) and place the vessel of some sort containing the (water / broth / sauce / turnips / juice / meaning / mashed potatoes / succotash / beans / risotto / other) near your favorite pot (Note: Only your absolute favorite pot will do). Transfer the (water / broth / sauce / turnips / juice / meaning / mashed potatoes / succotash / beans / risotto / other) from the vessel of some sort to your favorite pot. Make sure you transfer all of the (water / broth / sauce / turnips / juice / meaning / mashed potatoes / succotash / beans / risotto / other) from the vessel of some sort to your favorite pot because it would be a shame if you left some of the (water / broth / sauce / turnips / juice / meaning / mashed potatoes / succotash / beans / risotto / other) in the vessel of some sort thus robbing your favorite pot of the (water / broth / sauce / turnips / juice / meaning / mashed potatoes / succotash / beans / risotto / other) that it so desires. Insert your (wooden spoon / plastic spoon / really large stick / kind of small stick [twig] / spatula / fork / tongs / other / hand[s]) into the (water / broth / sauce / turnips / juice / meaning / mashed potatoes / succotash / beans / risotto / other) that is now residing in your favorite pot. Once your (wooden spoon / plastic spoon / really large stick / kind of small stick [twig] / spatula / fork / tongs / other / hand[s]) has been inserted into the (water / broth / sauce / turnips / juice / meaning / mashed potatoes / succotash / beans / risotto / other) located in your favorite pot (and not in a vessel of some sort), begin stirring. Continue until satisfied.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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