Alas, poor Yorick wrote some blurbs for Scene…
“You Should All Be Murdered” by Another Sunny Day
By Mike Donovan, Scene Editor
Sunbeams blast down from blue suburban skies, searing your pale face as you shamble down Oak Street, head buried in a well-thumbed copy of Roland Barthes’ “A Lover’s Discourse.” It’s yet “Another Sunny Day,” summoning the worst of humanity to the neighborhood stage — “The people who are cruel without reserve / The people who talk too much / The people who don’t care / The people whose lives are going / Nowhere.” You (an intellectual) do not belong among this decrepit crowd. You have a sixth sense, d—–! You’re a reader of poetry! You’re ego needs space to moan!
Fantasies of solitude drift in and out of your headspace: fantasies in which you, a lone anorak, wander the streets of your town without fear of running into any of the “people who broke [your] heart so bad it never mends,” your “so-called friends.” “These are the people who do not deserve to live,” you think, grinning with glee. You start humming a jaunty little tune. “One day, when the world is set to rights,” you sing. “I’m going to murder all the people I don’t like.”
Fools, all of them.
“The Real Bros of Simi Valley”
By Ryan Israel, Associate Scene Editor
“The Real Bros of Simi Valley” seems to be born from Vine and internet culture. The show, written and starring Jimmy Tatro of “American Vandal” season one, features four former Vine stars as main characters — Jimmy Tatro as Xander, Nick Colletti as Duncan, Tanner Getter as Bryce and Cody Ko as Wade — and is also available for free on the internet.
The show is an incredibly comedic play on reality TV, as it follows the absurd lives of four lifelong friends living in California’s Simi Valley in a “Real Housewives” style. The guys are exaggerated SoCal stereotypes; they spend their days reminiscing about high school, arranging sick “kickbacks,” dealing with the drama of living in the place they grew up and smoking plenty of weed. They talk in a hilarious internet slang, giving phrases like “mad tight,” “steeze” and “low key” new meaning. It’s in the live commentary interviews, though, that the characters really shine, as they drop some of their funniest one-liners while reflecting on their situations. If you want to get the most out of the show for April Fools’ Day, send it to a friend, but first convince them that it’s a real reality show.
By Chase Cummings, Scene Writer
“The Room” is Tommy Wiseau’s 2003 crapsterpiece that blurs the lines between drama and comedy. On the surface, the film tells the story of Johnny and his unfaithful fiancé, Lisa. What may seem like a run-of-the-mill romance gone wrong is actually anything but, as Wiseau — the writer, director, producer and star — botches every one of his jobs. The script is insufferable; the camera is often uncentered or out of focus; the low production value is made obvious through unnecessary green screens; the acting is abysmal. Yet, as bad as the film is, audiences hold Wiseau in high esteem for following his filmmaking dream. James Franco even made a movie about “The Room,” called “The Disaster Artist,” which portrays Wiseau as an admirable go-getter instead of a fool. Perhaps Wiseau meant to make audiences laugh, or perhaps he meant to make us cry; regardless, he succeeded at both. I laugh until I cry when I hear lines like, “I did not hit her! It’s not true! It’s bulls—! I did not hit her! I did not,” “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa,” and “Anyway, how’s your sex life?” They have become ingrained into film lovers’ vernaculars, while the rooftop and flower shop scenes are still reenacted by audiences. This April Fools’ Day, pop in “The Room” to see a drama so funny that it had to have been a prank.