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Pizza review: Pizza Pi

| Tuesday, September 3, 2019

There are decades where nothing happens. And then there are weeks where decades happen. I firmly believe that years from now, as you look back fondly on your college days, you will look back at the week Pizza Pi opened and realize that it was the greatest week of your life.

Like every self-respecting student at Notre Dame, Saint Mary’s and Holy Cross, I turn to The Observer for all of my opinions. Therefore, I felt that it was my responsibility to tell you how to feel about Pizza Pi.

Going into this review, I was skeptical. I had a lot of questions on my mind: Isn’t this place just Reckers without the chicken nuggets? Didn’t we almost burn down South Dining Hall the last time the University tried to make pizza there? Will Caroline ever text me back? Does she even like me?

However, all (most… Caroline) of those concerns were immediately wiped away the second I walked into that gorgeous establishment.

Let me walk you through the Pizza Pi process. Your pizza starts as a piece of firm pita-like bread where sauce is spread over the pre-made delightful construction. From there, any selection of toppings can be added from symmetrical black boxes, only for the entire pie to be put in an oven to be cooked. Some minutes and a measly $8 later, you are consuming a personal pizza.

Now, I know what some of the haters are thinking right now. They’re sitting here and saying, “Wait, isn’t that the exact same thing as make your own pizza night at SDH? Isn’t that the exact same process except there is someone making your pizza in front of you — and then you have to pay them $8?”

However, anyone who is thinking this is completely unable to see the bigger picture, and honestly, I think that because of it they will be unsuccessful and unhappy their entire life. To them, I say, if you have never been to Pizza Pi, no explanation will suffice.

If you have been to Pizza Pi, they now have eight of your Flex Points that you can’t have back.

These haters may even have the guts to question why this has taken a full semester to essentially re-establish Reckers without the same number of menu items. To them, I say perfection takes time. I went to Pizza Pi for lunch on Wednesday. Upon leaving, I went back to my room and sat in the dark for three full days, wondering how I would write anything that could do Pizza Pi justice. I haven’t done any homework or gone to class since.

So don’t listen to those haters. Remove anyone in your life who might say anything like, “That’s a lot of money for pretty average pizza that only feeds between one and two people.” You don’t need that negativity in your life. You just need Pizza Pi.

I just can’t stress enough to you how this place could not possibly be any better. Let’s talk about the menu changes. Some might say the fries and chicken tenders were a go-to menu option at Reckers. However, they have been replaced by Piadinas. Do you even know what those are? According to Wikipedia, they are a thin Italian flatbread, typically prepared in the Romagna historical region.

I bet you feel silly and uncultured right now. What I’m trying to tell you is that Pizza Pi is making you a better person.

If you don’t spend all of your Flex Points at this establishment then I don’t know what to say to you. If you’re going to look me straight in the face and say that you can find a better meal deal than a Zesty BBQ Chicken personal pizza and a large smoothie for $15, then clearly any logical argument is lost on you anyway.

The only thing left to say, really, is that Pizza Pi is the greatest thing ever created on this earth and you should count yourself fortunate that you were able to be in South Bend while it existed.

In conclusion, I give Pizza Pi a perfect 3.14 out of 3.14.

God bless the wonderful people who created this establishment.

Danny McMaster is a senior business analytics major, and has never once been wrong in his entire life. He can be reached at [email protected] or @DanMcMaster14 on Twitter.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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