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South Dining Hall is better than North

| Monday, November 25, 2019

The Viewpoint section has seen a number of controversial opinion pieces recently, from parietals to leggings, from porn filters to homophobia, all dealing with serious issues. But none of these, I believe, are as polarizing as this column will be: South Dining Hall is better than North Dining Hall.

First of all, South is just prettier, and the eating experience is that much more enjoyable. The building’s Gothic exterior is charming and fits in well next to Dillon and Alumni, but its red brick makes it unique. Inside, past the carved wood doors, you are greeted by a handsome brick entryway with vaulted ceilings. While getting your food, you are treated to an atmosphere that is admittedly kitschy, but there’s always a new entertaining decorative detail to notice. Once you pick out your food, you eat with your friends thinking you’re in Hogwarts with wooden tables and chairs, high ceilings, fireplaces and a portrait of a beloved school patriarch with a long, white beard.

Secondly, SDH is more efficient. Why walk the entire length of NDH to see today’s offerings when you could make a quick circuit around South and quickly decide what you want to eat?

If you’re not convinced yet, consider this fact: South is closer than North. I live in Sorin College, and for me it is a shorter walk to SDH than NDH, and extrapolating from that, it must be closer for everyone. Enough said of this objective fact. Q.E.D.

Fourthly, South is more friendly. When you swipe into North, you are greeted by the cold, hostile automated barriers that are reminiscent of a subway turnstile. At South, however, you are greeted by smiling dining hall workers as you tap your ID (or sometimes hold it against a tablet for reasons unknown to me; my best guess is that it has to do with the alignment of Jupiter). I have nothing against North’s employees themselves, who couldn’t be friendlier, but they are victims of their situation.

The bathrooms at South are what I would call two of its “hidden gems,” a fun adventure to find for any first-time visitor. I don’t know much about the women’s room for obvious reasons, but it does have a fun ramp. As for the men’s room, the first thing you notice is that it is about 20 degrees hotter; this is actually a feature, however, as it is a designated warming station to serve people nearing frostbite because they cannot swipe into the nearest residence hall to warm up from the bitter cold that fast approaches.

The only legitimate criticism you may level at South is that its name is misleading, which I will concede is true; North is, in fact, at the north end of campus, while South is actually fairly central. But do you see that? You just played yourself. If South is located closer to the middle of campus, that means it is closer to everyone. See my third point.

Also, why does North offer Southwest Salad while being located in the northeast end of campus?

South Dining Hall is clearly and objectively superior to its northern counterpart, and if you disagree with me, send me hate mail at [email protected]

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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