My dog’s quarantine routine
Serena Zacharias | Thursday, March 26, 2020
My dog’s quarantine routine differs minimally from his regular routine:
6:47 a.m. — Gets startled by my dad making coffee so early and wakes up. Refuses to move from bed but moves ears rapidly searching any other signs of life. Gives up when he realizes no one else is awake.
6:55 a.m. — Growls menacingly and acts shocked when my dad scoops him up to take him to potty (This happens every day).
7:06 a.m. — Returns from going potty and runs around to investigate where his toys have gone. Shuttles through the house so fast his fur blows back and his eyes widen. Feels alive.
7:10 a.m. — Becomes tired from running. Sits down and pants. Eventually lays down then raises his head to continue panting.
7:21 a.m. — Locates his favorite bed, the circular one. While he outgrew the bed last year, he enjoys letting half his body hang out of it and camouflaging his white fur into the white fuzziness. Sleeps for the next few hours to recuperate from his run earlier.
8:32 a.m. — Awakens for a short period of time when a human member of the family (my mom or me) wanders downstairs to make tea. Remains snuggled in bed and acts disinterested. Waits until we acknowledge him because he is the king. Continues sleeping.
10:30 a.m. — Growls menacingly and acts shocked when I pick him up to feed him breakfast. Completes his stretches once we arrive in the laundry room, his place of dining. Sits obediently as I scoop his food onto his dog plate. Waits until I spread the food evenly across the plate before eating because he refuses to eat overlapping food pellets, and he is the king.
10:36 a.m. — Finishes eating and waits to be taken outside to go potty.
10:37 a.m. — Sniffs around the backyard before finding the perfect potty place. Stares out into the wild, allowing the wind to ripple through his hair as he shivers gently.
10:53 a.m. — Goes back inside, receives his treat for being a good boy and scurries off. Runs around to investigate whether his toys are still in the same place.
10:56 a.m. — Finds all of his toys in the same place.
10:57 a.m. — Plays tag with me, but refuses to be “it” (like always). Passes out somewhere on the ground to nap for a few hours.
12:56 p.m. — Hears the wind whistling outside, looks around frantically and barks at nothing for a while. Watches the news with the human members of the family for some time while they fret about the pandemic. Understands very little. Gets tired again and goes back to sleep.
2:30 p.m. — Growls menacingly and acts shocked when my sister scoops him up to take him outside.
2:45 p.m. — Returns from outside with an intense amount of energy. Runs around the house to find his favorite treat-dispensing toy, referred to exclusively as “the red thing.”
2:46 p.m. — Unable to find the red thing himself. Runs around barking into the air until someone finds it then trips over himself multiple times once the red thing is located because he is so excited. I stuff a treat into the red thing and hold it over his head as he stares at it intensely.
2:47 p.m. — Takes the red thing and runs to the living room to play. Attempts to extract the treat from the red thing for the next hour.
3:55 p.m. — Cannot get the treat out of the red thing. Gives up in despair and takes a nap.
4:35 p.m. — Wakes up and remembers his red thing. Sniffs his red thing for a few minutes then gives up to sleep again.
5:30 p.m. — Awakens when I pick him up to feed him dinner. Stretches and yawns once we arrive in the laundry room. Sits obediently as I scoop his food onto his dog plate. Waits until I spread the food evenly across the plate because he is the king.
5:35 p.m. — Finishes eating and waits to be taken outside to go potty.
5:36 p.m. — Frolicks outside, licks the wind, closes his eyes gently. Feels alive.
5:50 p.m. — Returns from outside and searches for his red thing. Feels invigorated with energy and works tirelessly to extract the treat.
6:15 p.m. — Removes the treat from the red thing. Success! Feels accomplished and rewards himself with a deserved nap.
6:45 p.m. — Wakes up from nap when the human members of the family eat. Trots over to beg each of them for food even though he already ate dinner. Acts as though he is starving. Utilizes his puppy dog eyes.
7 p.m. — My father, the weakest link, gives him some food.
7:30 p.m. — Watches TV with my parents. Begs to sit next to my mother (his favorite). Experiences true happiness when she relents.
9:15 p.m. — Growls menacingly and acts shocked when my sister tries to take him to potty.
9:25 p.m. — Returns from pottying and despairs because he knows he must go to bed soon.
10:03 p.m. — Lies down in his second favorite bed and goes to sleep reluctantly at the direction of my parents.
12:06 a.m. — Wakes up to my brother stomping up the stairs. Ignores hims and continues sleeping. Prepares for a long day tomorrow.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.