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Editor’s Notes: Staying hydrated

| Friday, March 19, 2021

Elaine Park | The Observer

Don’t talk to me unless you want to talk about big water bottles

The freshest news to come from celebrity paparazzi photos is that big water bottles are in.

A few trendy women were spotted carrying extra large water bottles: perpetual cool girl Kendall Jenner, “50 Shades of Limes” actress Dakota Johnson, “Dancing with the Stars” mainstay Julianne Hough (who I had to Google) and pretty little liar Lucy Hale.

Kendall has the best outfit; Dakota, the biggest bottle; Lucy is the coolest; and Julianne gets points for that kick. But they all score big for staying hydrated because water, as you all know, solves every problem. 

“It’s important to drink water,” I tell myself as I roll over in bed with a headache and/or hangover and reach for my average-sized water bottle. “It’s important to stay hydrated,” I tell myself as I take a sip to stay awake during a dry Zoom lecture. “It’s important to mix in a water,” I say out loud, four beers deep, as I lean over the sink and drink from the faucet like a dog.

Water has yet to solve some of my problems — my face still breaks out, I still get tired every day at 4 p.m., etc. — but I’m starting to think that’s only because I don’t have a big enough water bottle. My standard 32 oz. Nalgene can’t possibly be doing as much work as Kendall Jenner’s mammoth, gallon-sized water bottle. If I had a bottle as big hers, I could be as cool as her (probably). 

This trend — the trend of massive bottles and, more importantly, staying hydrated — is one which I am completely in on.

My thoughts on this Zahm business

Also, can we stop using a mediocre movie from the ‘70s which totally idealizes fraternity culture as our only frame of reference for discussing Notre Dame men’s dorms? Okay, that’s it. No more thoughts.

I’ve been down

For the past two weeks, I have been down. 

Crucial in helping me through this time has been my new favorite Haim song, “I’ve Been Down” — specifically, the first line in the song, “I’ve been running around town.”

Danielle Haim doesn’t just say those words. No, she lays them out over Rostam’s drums with such declarative force that they bounce around my head for days on end. Confined by COVID, I have most definitely not been “running around town.” So when Haim announces that she’s been running around town, it makes me look back on trips to Martin’s, the Marathon gas station on Colfax or Gene’s Camera Store with intense longing. 

I’m not down anymore, although I’m still not fully running around town. When I am again, this song will be playing.

Study abroad with Central Cee

With Notre Dame’s signature study abroad programs on hold, juniors are missing out on truly life changing experiences. They can make up for it by listening to Central Cee.

During my two and a half months in London (yes, I studied abroad, no big deal), nothing connected me more to the culture than listening to British rap music. The hottest new artist in that scene is Central Cee, who just released his debut album “Wild West,” on which he flexes his abilities as both a grime rapper and a drill rapper. 

The beat selection is second to none; almost every song begins with an obscure sample which is then flipped into a bumping rap instrumental. Cee raps with a refreshing self-honesty — “Said ‘f— school’ and I broke the law / Told little bro ‘gotta stay in school’ / Tellin’ the kids this sh*t ain’t cool, f—, I’m so hypocritical” — and carries himself over tracks with levity.

If you feel like you’re missing out this semester, listen to “Loading” or “6 for 6” or even “Pinging (6 for 6).”

Riz Ahmed still deserves an award

In my first column, I wrote about Riz Ahmed bleaching his hair blonde, delivering a fantastic performance in “Sound of Metal” and deserving a Golden Globe. The Globes got it wrong, but hopefully the Oscars will not.

The Scene 2021 men’s spring style guide

That’s it. That’s what I’ll be wearing every single day the temperature crosses 60 degrees and it’s acceptable to wear shorts again.

The Weekend at ND

Notre Dame men’s baseball, my second favorite ND sports team right now, is really good this year, and they’re playing the Duke Blue Devils every day this weekend. Take me out to the ballpark!

Notre Dame women’s lacrosse, my favorite ND sports team right now, is also really good this year, and they’re playing Liberty University, maybe the only school more religious than us, on Friday. Maybe I should start a sports column.

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About Ryan Israel

Ryan is the Former Scene Editor (2020-2021). He is currently washed up. Follow Ryan on Twitter @ryizzy.

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