My name is Anhtuan Doventry. You may know me as Anhtuan Do, if I attended school with you from 1998 - 2002. From the ages of 12 to 42, I was suicidal; that includes my four amazing years at Notre Dame. To be completely honest, I started thinking about suicide at such a young age, I didn't know that people didn't constantly think about ending their own life.A bit about me: I grew up in a Vietnamese-Catholic family. Like most of you, I was a high achiever. After Notre Dame, I started out in consulting which included a stint at Deloitte. I then went on to take a company from near-bankruptcy to the Fortune 500, now I run tech for a groundbreaking company.Yet all of that time, I thought I wasn't worthy of this world. In January of 2023, eight months ago, the world aligned for me to get help. As I did, I started to tell my story. When I did, people started sharing their stories. It helped some seek help. It helped us connect on a more real level. It helped normalize mental health just a bit more. I used achievement as a coping mechanism. I used busyness as a coping mechanism. Anything to keep me from listening to myself. For those who knew me at Notre Dame, you knew I filled my days to the brim. I made sure every second was taken up so all I could do was go to sleep when I returned to my dorm. I didn't want any time to listen to my head. There was only one spot on campus where I felt peace. Last week, leading up to the Ohio State game, was the first time I returned after my therapy. I spent 30 minutes on a bench in God Quad under the trees. I had my Jimmy John's sandwich and I watched many of you walk through campus. I debated about whether or not to send this in. Then, I thought of the dozens of you I saw walking around that Wednesday afternoon. I thought maybe one of you feels the way I did when I was a student. Then, I imagined my younger self picking up a copy of The Observer, sitting at South Dining Hall and opening it up to see this letter. I would've cried. I hoped the younger me would've made my way to the University Counseling Center and asked for help. So I write this letter for you. I've never met you in my life. I'll likely never meet you. I'll never know what you went through, but I know how it feels to believe you're not worthy. You — more than anyone else — need to know that you belong. So find a safe place to feel what you need to feel. Process it, and then please, please, please go find help. Our tri-campus has so many resources, please go connect with them or anyone about it. Be open to the help because you're worth it. You just have to believe it. I do.Love always,
Anhtuan Doventry
Class of 2002
Sept. 25
[Editor's note: If you or a loved one are expressing suicidal thoughts or tendencies, please call the suicide hotline at 988. To get connected with Notre Dame's University Counseling Services, visit the third floor of Saint Liam's Hall or call them at 574-631-7336. Schedule an appointment with Saint Mary's Health and Counseling Center at 574-284-4805. Schedule an appointment with Holy Cross Counseling Center at 574-239-8383 or via email at counselingservices@hcc-nd.edu.]
