Finals procrastination

With finals quickly approaching, you can be sure to find me, in bed, for 14 hours a day, with a stack of reading that I didn’t keep up with, trying really hard to pretend like I don’t pay thousands of dollars a semester just to procrastinate. With a research project and paper due this upcoming week and finals on the horizon, I will further procrastinate by telling you lovely readers nine things I would rather do than study for finals.

1. Write listicles

I know listicles are the way to go nowadays with online content, and I know my last inside column was a listicle about Twilight, but I really hate them. Then again, it’s better than trying to read all of “Paradise Lost” in one night.

2. Stare at the spider on my ceiling

I like to call him my bug roommate. I named him Alexander (yes, after Hamilton), and I really love him. If he came any closer, I would scream bloody murder and probably start crying, which is why I’m spending my valuable free time keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t crawl into my bed. He’s a good roommate, but I don’t think he’s that good at cuddling.

3. Go to the dining hall before the hash browns are out

My sleep schedule is so messed up that I typically wake up around or before 8 a.m. every day. I tell myself I’m going to start studying, but instead, I end up at the dining hall every morning — and I almost never eat breakfast. The hash browns don’t even come out until 10:30 a.m., so I always just sit there, sad and alone, with nothing but a bagel for comfort.

4. Read horoscopes only to find out my boyfriend and I are not compatible.

I’m a Sagittarius. He’s a Scorpio. My moon sign is a Leo. His moon sign is a Capricorn. Anyway you look at it, there’s no hope.

5. Drink a Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino

“Mango syrup, sour blue powder.” Sour blue powder? Sounds healthy.

6. Go on a run

The best thing that ever happened to me was that one time the Holy Half Marathon got canceled, and I got to go to Rise’n Roll instead of having to run 13.1 miles. I can’t even say running and I have a love/hate relationship. It’s all hate. But I’d sooner fight through allergies, humidity and the goose poop near the Grotto than sit in the library.

7. Listen to “Bad and Boujee.” On repeat.

Maybe now I can actually learn the words instead of singing all the memes?

8. Read the sports section of The Observer

Go news, beat sports #rushdeltanews

9. Read The Irish Rover