Big game this weekend

Truly, this Saturday could be the game day to end all game days. As a senior, I was stoked to see my Irish stand up against those Wolverines and come out victorious — I’d call that the highlight of my college football experience, even after last year’s smashing of Southern Cal. However, I do think it’s incredibly likely that this week’s game will outshine all of those glorious moments, as Notre Dame takes on it’s biggest challenge of the year — Stanford Hall.

“Yeah, it’s a little weird to be challenging our alma mater,” junior Bryan Govin of Stanford had to share with our reporters on his way to North Dining Hall. “Like, we just had pirate dance last Friday, so this kinda feels like a lot for our group of guys at the present moment.”

Swashbuckling one night, conquering the Oregon Ducks the next evening, Stanford has earned its threatening status as Notre Dame’s biggest competitor this season. Posing decent competition through their running game, its throttling of the Ducks was a prime opportunity to show off their passing prowess. Surely, this two-tiered offensive will be a handful for our Notre Dame defense.

“Yeah, I really thought that ‘Stanford’ meant the university when I saw it on our schedule,” Govin continued. “But, when I realized us Griffins were being called up to the big leagues, I knew we’d just have to step up and make it happen inter-collegiately this season.”

This mindset, undoubtedly, is the sort that has risen the Hall up to No. 7 in the power rankings.

“Yeah, I never thought we were that great in the inter-dorm league,” Stanford RA Frederick Evertson offered to our reporters, “Definitely not bad, but also not too great. Still, I guess it’s all about those fundamentals — and playing section sports every Sunday.”

He would also emphasize a satisfactory weight-room and lack of air-conditioning as elements adding up to his hall’s success. Evertson intends to lead his residents this coming Saturday.

As the situation demands, the tension caused by Stanford’s enthusiasm for Saturday has provoked derision among the other North Quad residence halls, particularly Keenan, who’s been especially hostile to its building-mates.

“After the successes of the Revue, they’re probably just intimidated that their neighbors have stepped onto a bigger, national stage,” Evertson offered.

It is true, a plurality of BP Babes and Farley Finest have concurred, that this elevated publicity has made Stanford men more attractive than Keenan men. When asked for a comment, Keenan’s president promised that such popularity will change when Notre Dame comes out on top on this weekend.

Brandon Wimbush has, as of yet, declined to comment on whether he’ll be joining Stanford’s squad, having roomed there his freshman year. Placed as backup to Ian Book in the game against Wake Forest, fans have high hopes that he’ll remain with the Irish, knowing that his talent could still be tantamount this Saturday, not to mention his role as a leader on the team. Regardless, this divide between school spirit and hall loyalty has instigated a clashing of allegiances our campus hasn’t seen the severity of since the Walsh-basketball debacle of 2003.

“Hey, I hate to do it to the rest of campus, but this game could hold playoff repercussions for either team,” junior James Bryant had to tell. “I cannot in good conscious support the school of Our Lady when my dorm could face off against Alabama. There are certain levels of glory that transcend all others … plus, I think it would go a long toward Hall of the Year.”

Regardless of reason, Stanford intends to give its all Saturday, and the Irish will have to be at the top of their game to match. Once Coach Brian Kelly puts Evertson and crew in their place, we can all kick back and laugh at how Keenan obliterates their “parasite” this year. Best of luck to you, Griffins, and Go Irish!