If you’ve been keeping up with what we’ve published over the past week, I’m sure you’ve already seen your fair share of Valentine’s Day content. From Joy Agwu’s love letter to single people and Kate Capser’s “Falling in love for dummies” column, to a From the Archives piece that looked at the history of Valentine’s Day at Notre Dame, we’ve kept our pages pretty saturated with our thoughts, feelings and facts about Valentine’s Day. So if you’re sick of reading about Valentine’s Day, I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I’m not. Because, to be honest, I absolutely love Valentine’s Day. It’s one of my favorite holidays.
Whenever I tell people this, I’m typically met with a decent amount of jeering and booing. And if I’m not met with someone telling me that it’s an overrated holiday or someone telling me that February is the absolute worst month of the year, it’s always some comment along the lines of “of course you would like Valentine’s Day.” I don’t think the people who have said this to me do so with the intention of being mean, but even if they do, I wouldn’t even get mad. At my core, I’m not a hater. I just love love.
My love for Valentine’s Day doesn’t come from a romantic place. It’s not like I wake up on Feb. 14 every year with the expectation that I’m going to be on the receiving end of some grand romantic gesture. I’ve never even been on a Valentine’s Day date before. But even as someone who considers herself to be a hopeless romantic, I don’t really care.
I have single friends who joke about how awful it is walking around campus on Feb. 14, looking at our classmates whose significant others have gotten them flowers. But, I’ve also had people who have been in relationships on Valentine’s Day complain about how burdensome the holiday is because it creates an awful pressure to impress a romantic partner. And then, there’s always the people who argue that Valentine’s Day has turned into a consumerist trap that monetizes love.
And to be honest, these are valid critiques. Valentine’s Day stresses a lot of people out, and I think this holds especially true at Notre Dame where dating and marriage culture has such a strong hold on the student body (ring by spring, anyone?). I won’t lie, it sucks. But, I think Valentine’s Day has so much potential. Rather than lamenting the pressures of being in or out of a relationship, it can just be a day to celebrate the people you love and share that feeling with people who might not always have people in their corner.
Each year, I wake up on Valentine’s Day and do the same thing. I get out of bed, put on some pink (my favorite color!) and put a bag of Hershey's Kisses in my backpack. When I get to my classes or see my friends, I do the same thing all day: I ask them if they want a Hershey's Kiss. It may sound silly, but I absolutely love doing this. I love seeing how people will light up a little before accepting the offer. It’s such a small gesture, but it makes me happy to see someone’s smile just because I offered them a Hershey's Kiss.
Because of my arguably unpopular stance on Valentine’s Day, I frequently find myself in a position where I have to defend myself and the holiday. I was talking about Valentine’s Day last month, and I mentioned that I think it serves as an opportunity to tell the people in your life that you love them. The response I got was “you can do that any day of the year.” And while I agree that is true, that doesn’t mean people do it. Why not use the day dedicated to love to do so?
I don’t expect this column to be anything revolutionary. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I can solve the issue of Valentine’s Day materialism, nor do I expect people to let go of their deep rooted beliefs about the holiday. But, I will say this: even with all the negativity surrounding Valentine’s Day and the pressures it entails, I just think it shows that deep down, we all just want to be loved, and there is something so beautifully human about that. So you don’t have to walk around on Feb. 14 dressed in pink carrying candy around in your backpack. But tell your roommates you love them. Tell your mom you love her. Tell someone you love them. I promise it’s worth it.
You can contact Gabrielle at gbeecher@nd.edu.
