Since acquiring ‘unc’ status after soberly stuffing my car with Alumni Hall juniors on the way to ‘Legacy’ Friday night, I have found I have a lot to say.
Firstly, how wrong was the editor-in-chief?
“The weather seems a lot more agreeable this year than my own move-in in prehistoric times,” Isa Sheikh said in an otherwise beautiful note in The Observer’s welcome weekend edition.
You’re smart, Isa, but I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT ONE, CHIEF.
I think leads about weather conditions are worse than the weather itself, but you really jinxed us, man. It’s hot as the depths of Hell in Alumni Hall as I write this. Dawgs are sleeping in sprawled out positions among the two common rooms with working ACs.
I’m in my un-fanned dorm room writing in the rather defeated spirit of something former interim news editor Peter Breen once said to me: “It’s as if journalists do their best work in the worst of conditions.” Well, it feels like the Seventh Circle.
We put the fun in dysfunctional
Secondly, anyway, I also want to mention two special columns the Viewpoint section is introducing this Fall: the College Democrats of Notre Dame and their counterpart: the College Republicans of Notre Dame.
The two groups have agreed to each write a column pursuing open civil discourse on the 2024 U.S. elections in the pages of The Observer.
The terms given to each group are quite simple: they are prohibited from using personal attacks in their aims to persuade. But respectful debate on national policy relating to the election — including the words used in The Observer’s bi-weekly columns — are not only fair game, but encouraged.
The groups will publish their columns on an alternating schedule, and you can look out for the College Democrats’ first column in this week’s Friday’s edition.
My summer was good. Thanks for asking.
Thirdly, as I engage a hyper-drive of “how was your summer” conversations over the next week, I have four places where I don’t want to do the small talk.
1. Urinals (or anywhere in a bathroom really)
I don’t engage in potty-talk in my inside columns (just kidding, I do), but you don’t know me while I am in Dante’s fifth circle of Hell, otherwise known as the North Wing, mirror-exposed troughs of Debartolo Hall.
2. In the dining hall
That is, while I have a full plate of food in my hand and am bee-lining to my seat. While we’re in line, you might as well be my best friend. But while my plate is full, I am hungry. So get out of my way, Gray Nocjar.
3. While I’m in a Hesburgh Library reading room
I have two modes: “chill” and “freak the f*** out.” While I’m at Hes, you can guess what I am.
4. Urinals, but more emphasis
I need to emphasize the urinals, only because even the slightest commentary on the haunted urinals of Notre Dame’s massive campus cannot be published without mentioning the South Dining Hall Basement men’s room.
There’s enough ghosts in that space to make me believe in God again
I must include a bark for help. Simple question: do you like to write? If no, fine.
If yes, we are still taking applications for the role of Viewpoint Columnist, so you are warmly invited to apply using our online form.
