Not everything needs to be a movie. Sure, you can turn odd concepts into amazing movies (e.g. what if you had to set up your own mom with your dad in the past), and even the most bizarre of products can get a movie (see: “Blackberry,” a movie about the cell phone company). But just because one can make a movie doesn’t mean it should be made — no matter how popular its source material may be.
“Minecraft” is categorically the best-selling video game of all time. At a staggering 300 million copies sold since its November 2011 release, that’s roughly 2 million copies sold per month, every month. And it’s still going. Receiving spin-offs, LEGO sets, gaming crossovers and continual updates, “Minecraft” is more than a brand — it’s a cultural moment. And as such, it is now a movie starring Jack Black and Jason Momoa. (As for internet culture getting movies, I eagerly await the movie based on the nonsensical online self-dubbed “brain rot” that is “Skibidi Toilet,” produced by Michael Bay. Yes, this is real. No, I can’t explain it more in depth than I already have).
On Wednesday, the trailer for the officially titled “A Minecraft Movie” released online. I don’t play a lot of the game, so I might be out of line when I say this, but visually, it reminded me less of the game and more of someone trying to emulate it. “Minecraft” is stylized heavily with blocky textures, sharp edges and low-resolution textures. So, naturally, the movie’s visuals lean in towards hyper-realism and softer — but still cubic — proportions and edges on creatures and terrain. Beyond that, the game’s stock default character (known as “Steve”) is just a fully human Jack Black. This is his third role in a movie based on a video game (following his turn as the villainous Bowser in the “Mario” movie and the irritating Claptrap in that “Borderlands” film that came out and fizzled immediately). Additionally, he features prominently in the rebooted “Jumanji” films, based around video games over board games.
The trailer also shows glimpses of characters played by Jason Momoa (“Aquaman,” “Game of Thrones”) and Oscar nominee Danielle Brooks (the 2024 version of “The Color Purple”) as well as a younger cast featuring Emma Myers (Netflix’s “Wednesday”) and newcomer Sebastian Eugene Hansen. Additional cast members not shown in the trailer include Jermaine Clement from “Flight of the Conchords,” Matt Berry from “What We Do in the Shadows,” Kate McKinnon from “Saturday Night Live” and Jennifer Coolidge, from “that one impression your friend thinks is really good but is just alright” — that and “Legally Blonde,” “White Lotus” and “Promising Young Woman.”
As a game, “Minecraft” is simple yet infinite. As such, there isn’t much story. Sure, the credits sequence tells a story, but that’s more of a meta-commentary on gaming and media as a whole. There are implicit storytelling elements if you look hard enough, but none that the developer’s expect you to pick up on in order to enjoy yourself. The game is as simple as “build cool things, make cool armor, go through cool portal, slay cool dragon.” The story is what you, the player, do within the world. It is the closest thing to a pure open sandbox for anyone to do whatever they want in it, and that just doesn’t make for a good narrative. But hey! Maybe you could’ve said the same thing about LEGOs 10 years ago. But, until I get a sign of better things to come, “A Minecraft Movie” is a game I’m not willing to play.
