On dorm culture from the outside

Every night around 4 p.m., my remaining roommates and I at The 87 apartments sit around our island and excitedly open our daily housing update emails. As sophomore transfers to ND, we were placed on a waitlist to live on campus after spots ran out this summer. 

Although we have been trying to form our own community off campus, the unofficial “87 dorm,” most of us are still desperately hoping to be let onto campus. Just last week, only barely into our freshly signed five-month lease, my roommate got offered a dorm spot. Within a few days of the offer, and despite the fact that she still has to pay rent for the apartment, she had moved in. 

From an outside perspective, Notre Dame’s housing culture is kind of jarring. Coming from a university where my dorm was just a place to live (I had plans to spend my sophomore year in an eight-man apartment), I have to admit that at first I was unenthusiastic at the thought of two to three more years of community bathrooms and a lofted bed. After researching residential life here and seeing how passionate students are about it, however, the lure of a “sorority” type dorm life had me excitedly looking forward to receiving my housing assignment when I got my transfer acceptance letter in mid-June. 

I, like about 60 other female transfer students, was disheartened when I discovered my waitlist position. As 54th, with about fifteen spots expected to open before the semester began, I never had much hope of getting onto campus. I was able to accept quickly that I would spend at least my first semester here searching for a community outside of my living situation. 

The sobering reality didn’t really set in until Welcome Weekend. In those three days, all while making the half-hour trek to and from campus in the 90-degree heat, I passed dorms hosting big “welcome home” events for their freshmen, met my tour guide to get lunch at the dining hall only to realize I didn’t have a meal plan to get in, and was one of the only students at every single event who wasn’t wearing a t-shirt announcing my new dorm. 

Now that the regular semester has begun, trying to find the place on campus where I fit has been easy in some ways while challenging in others. It’s true what they say: people here are generally extremely friendly. Maybe it’s the Midwest in us (I used to go to college on the East coast), or maybe it's just that everyone is genuinely happy and grateful to be here, but the person sitting next to me is always willing to chat before class starts or as they pack up their stuff.

Making small talk with every person you come across, however, is not a guaranteed way to make friends. I have faced several challenges trying to bond with non-transfer students, but the main one is simply the distance. There’s something strangely awkward about asking someone to walk five minutes to the library together knowing you will walk thirty minutes to meet at their dorm first. I thought I would love being only a few minutes away from the stadium, only for the gameday realization that I needed to go on campus to meet friends beforehand. Hanging out on campus at night is also a little less fun when you’re anticipating a long, dark and lonely walk home. 

I know that there is more to the magic of Notre Dame than dorm culture. If living in close communities was all it took, every school with Greek life would be as beloved as Notre Dame is (which is clearly not the case!). Slowly getting acclimated to campus and forcing myself out of my comfort zone are ultimately going to be how I become a Notre Dame student.

I plan to continue doing everything in my power to connect with people despite not being a part of their dorms’ culture. I am truly sorry to all of my senior neighbors who have been stuck in our apartment’s elevator with me, anyone who sits next to me in one of my lectures and the poor freshmen I meet at every club interest meeting and intro class I’m taking: I will never stop forcing you into awkward conversations. 

If there’s one thing I’ve heard constantly at all of the first-year programming our transfer group has been jammed into over the past month, it’s that the Notre Dame experience is different, but equally special, for everyone. Although unusual, I know my time off-campus will just be a blip in my unique ND experience, and I am sincerely looking forward to the three short years I have to spend here.

Besides, I am happy to say that as of Sept. 12, I am fifth on the housing waitlist. Watch out, fellow Notre Dame students; pretty soon, I might just become your new roommate.