You've got mail

A collection of (fake) emails to (real) people.

Abigail,

I know you hate it when people greet you by your full name, but I can’t help it. Sometimes I think about how different life would be if your nickname was Gail instead of Abbey, but that’s beside the point. We FaceTimed for a brief moment the other day, but I still wanted to write as I hope Nashville has been everything and more. I plan on booking my flight sometime this week and am so excited for October. Have you run into any famous country stars, or found yourself signing some variation of a record deal? If not, I’ll love you just the same.

Emma,

I finally bought that Salt and Stone perfume and already misplaced it. Hoping and praying it is tucked away in your room somewhere alongside a few other miscellaneous items I cannot seem to find. Please text me a good time to come and pick everything up. In other news, what should we be for Halloween? Is it too early to be thinking about that sort of thing?

Grandma, 

This season of Dancing with the Stars might just be my favorite one yet. I’ve been voting for Joey and Jenna, but Stephen and Rylee are my second favorite couple and I really want them to add the pommel horse to one of their routines. Also, mom gave me the jar of sloppy joe sauce you bought for me and I am going to make it sometime very soon, just waiting for the weather to cool off.

Minnie,

Doubt you will read this, as you are in fact a canine, but wanted to tell you that I love and miss you and would bring you to school if I could. However, that’s just not in the cards. I also know you too well and you’d definitely not have a chair by a big window to gaze out of and people watch.

The lady from FedEx,

Thank you for being so kind to me yesterday when I went to make a return. You actually made my entire afternoon and I really appreciated our short interaction. I bought a pair of jeans in the wrong size which is why I had to stop by, and am now looking forward to getting the correct size of jeans in the mail soon because it is getting colder. I’d tip you if I could, I’m so serious.

Dad,

I’m looking forward to senior dads weekend with you. I got our matching shirts for the bar crawl, and hope you know that you need to wear it. They weren’t cheap. Also, the tweet you sent in the family group chat yesterday made me laugh. I’ll call you soon.

The stranger in Trader Joe’s on Sunday,

Thank you for the super kind recommendation on where I should get my sourdough bread. I cannot wait to buy and try it soon. Hope you are well.

Me,

Set a reminder to wear your retainer, take your meds, read a book for pleasure, go on a walk and stop DoorDashing so much. Get it together, girl. I say this with so much love.