This past weekend I had the quintessential Notre Dame experience. The major event was Stanford Hall’s SYR: pirate dance. Essentially, it involves over 330 sweaty, inebriated college students dressed up in pirate costumes from Goodwill and Amazon, huddled inside a white tent 55 feet away from North Dining Hall.
To further put this into perspective, I will describe the five senses that I experienced that night.
The sight was a frenzied amalgam of bouncing tall white figures interposed with bobbing tresses of brown and splashed with darkened red, black and golden cloth.
The sound was deafening club renditions of Pitbull.
The smell was an overbearing odor of rum and Dominos pepperoni pizza breath, accompanied by subtle notes of Dior Sauvage cologne.
I recall numerous times being touched by soaked backs, slick arms and damp hair.
The taste was spring water from a Crystal Geyser water bottle. I hope you can envision yourself in my place.
Despite my strange characterization of a dorm dance, I love pirate dance. It is truly an amazing thing for Stanford hall, as are SYRs for any other dorm. But my most notable takeaway this year is not the fun time spent with friends dancing and singing around, but rather the DFMOs — that is, the dance floor make outs. The author took no part in these make outs, only witnessing them.
It disturbs me by how common public make outs are at Notre Dame. It further disturbs me when they’re dressed up in pirate costumes. I wonder how bullying, or at least intense shaming, could have a positive effect in expelling this behavior from social life at Notre Dame. I am not criticizing the act of making out, but rather that it is done in broad daylight, with no regard for their personal reputation, public approbation or even human decency.
I understand that being in a drunken stupor is a main catalyst for this sort of behavior, but as we all know: drunk actions are sober thoughts. This leads me to believe that repeat “public make out” offenders retain the instinct or motivation to make out daily, but they are just not stimulated by an external substance. Oh, the horror it would be if alcohol was not the last bastion in safeguarding Notre Dame student life from incessant public making out! If we didn’t have alcohol, I wouldn’t be able to step foot in the dining halls!
I can conceive that there are some supporters who defend their public make out habits, namely freshmen. It could be argued that the public make outs are a key component of an elaborate scheme to court their love interest, “rizz,” as it were.
It could be argued that I ought to mind my own business at these dances. Perhaps, it might also be argued that the setting of the act, namely a dance, permits such liberality. To these I respond, respectfully, that perhaps this freshman should consider learning about their love interest’s interests, going on an actual date or learning her name first. One should complete these prerequisites before considering anything further. I also respond that “my business” is greatly hindered if I cannot walk into several scattered spheres of the dancefloor. Finally, I call to attention the nature of Pirate Dance being a “dance.” It is not named “Pirate Making Out Session.” Therefore, all attendees should be dancing.
I offer an answer for why public make outs are such a common phenomenon at Notre Dame. One must work backwards.
First, what is the primary outcome of publicly making out? It is carnal pleasure and personal validation.
What is the objective of this action? Put simply, people make out because it is pleasurable, sexually and personally.
What causes one to do this act publicly? As I have mentioned before, drunkenness inhibits one’s judgment and ability to stop their carnal desire or consider the greater social consequences.
Why are the particular agents involved poised to perform this act? Most of the time, these make-outs occur between individuals who find the other attractive.
To go a step further, why are the individuals associated with each other in the first place? At least in this pirate dance paradigm, one party invites the other party specifically as a date for this dance — there is at least some level of mutual affinity or preference such that this partnership would come about. Perhaps, this occasion is a part of a greater plan to eventually enter into a romantic relationship with the other.
When the public make out is expanded in this manner, one is better able to assess why and how it happens. I argue that these public make outs are primarily rooted in a deep-seated longing for connection, both human and spiritual. The desire for human connection reaches its fulfillment in a long-term, committed relationship, namely a marriage, but making-out is a way of imitating the actions from a marriage in the context of an uncommitted relationship. It is like jumping the queue, in a limited sense.
Moreover, inebriation serves a dual purpose. It offers basic pleasure to the person, but it also serves as a sort of permission, or license, for someone to partake in and then justify his actions. Though I cannot condemn the motivation to make out, as it is caused by legitimate physical attraction, which is undeniably a good thing, this motivation needs to be tempered.
Furthermore, even the connection on a human level is insufficient in satisfying the infinitely large desire for connection. There is a God-shaped hole carved into the souls of human beings. No matter how much making out you participate in, no matter how much sex you have, there is nothing that can fill this hole save God Himself.
I argue that the social life at Notre Dame is characterized by a deep longing for connection, a human and spiritual connection that will not be sated in the places that we Notre Dame students search for them. We still haven’t found what we’re looking for, though it’s everywhere.
Jonah Tran is a junior at Notre Dame studying finance and classics. He prides himself on sarcasm and never surrendering. You can file complaints to Jonah by email at jtran5@nd.edu.
