That reflected glow

I stand there laughing, my mom giving a little smirk to the camera. In her hands are three plump mini pumpkins, orange and white and striped. Afterwards, I stare at the photo for a few beats — taking in her smile, the pumpkin patch. How the sun, positioned perfectly behind her head, created this seemingly celestial glow around her body. Amused by her gleeful delight at the thought of sneaking three Indiana-grown pumpkins in her carry on when she went back to California.

I love my mom, and I love the way this photo captured her. The sun really did create this unintentional glow around her that I probably couldn’t recreate if I tried. I automatically added it to my “favorites” album and sent the photo to our family group chat.

Over fall break, a couple days after this photo was taken, I read Salley Rooney’s latest novel, “Intermezzo”. Despite critiques branding her merely the “cool girl novelist,” I was engrossed by the book and earmarked several eloquent passages. There is no better feeling than something simple being articulated well. 

Take for instance, this conversation between two of the main characters. They are doomed soulmates (obviously), coming from a university lecture the woman just gave. Walking around Dublin at night, they link arms in the cold air while the guy talks about getting to observe her demeanor around students.

“It’s nice to be around you at these things, I get some of that reflected glow.”

“Oh, you don’t need any reflected, she says. You’re very magnetic.”

The guy’s compliment and her response is trivial given the context of the plot. But the image behind the phrase, “that reflected glow,” really stood out to me. 

The humor of my mother’s antics is contagious. She’s good at making life feel light  — suddenly privy to some secret only she knows. I find myself laughing and wanting to be part of the mischief. Only afterward, when looking at my photo at the pumpkin patch, did I notice how she was glowing. But I definitely felt part of what Rooney would call her “reflected glow” in the moment. 

Another person I experience this around often is my older brother. He studied ecology in college and can name almost any plant or animal he sees, immediately giving you a wikipedia-like description if you ask. The last time my brothers and I were all home at the same time, we went on a hike in the Santa Monica mountains. My brother identified the different bird sounds filling the air as we walked, making sure to point out the wrentit, whose distinctive song is reminiscent of a ball bouncing. I laughed as he and I recreated the trill, and I marveled at the effortlessness with which he was able to identify the bird by sound.

Someone as knowledgeable as my brother could easily make those around him feel inferior. But my brother exudes a pure joy when in nature, a joy that only expands when he gets to share it with others. Around him, I find myself suddenly interested in how bees can taste with their feet or why there are feral donkeys roaming the hills of Riverside, CA.

It is a beautiful thing when the people around us seem to be fully themselves. “In their element”, you could say. And those of us caught in the peripheral get the benefit of their joy, as Rooney would call it, reflecting onto us.

I can think of other times I’ve gotten the privilege of admiring my loved ones in their element. Walking around with my grandma at the school she is a substitute teacher at. Watching my roommate break it down on the dance floor at our formal. Going to dinner with my boyfriend and his high school friends.

Getting to see their faces light up as they talk and laugh is an invigorating energy to be around. It makes me want to be around people who have such a zest for life in that moment — a state of flow, happiness or glee, whatever you want to call it. I want to capture these moments, to write it down and embed it in my memory of the person. 

The idea is quite simple, no grand theory to dissect. Here’s to the people we love and what makes them glow, and to hoping that just a little rubs off on us.