Whether it be academic, athletic or in another context, almost everyone has been afraid to fail at one time or another. The proper definition from the Cleveland Clinic is known as atychiphobia, an intense fear of failure. They describe it as a feeling that ”may cause you to put off or avoid any activity or scenario that has the potential for an unsuccessful outcome.”
In previous columns, I have mentioned that I have been playing softball for 15 years. I am a sophomore collegiate athlete at Saint Marys and am a left-handed catcher, outfielder and first-basemen. I have written articles concerning the mental game of being a catcher and the overall mental game talking about confidence and focus. I wanted to circle back to my own experiences, as it seemed I missed my own fear.
I suppose I have always lacked confidence when it comes to sports. Why? I am still not completely sure myself. Softball is famously known to be the sport of mistakes if you will. Sometimes you make a mistake and you learn from it. Instead of moving on and getting ready for the next play, game or rep, my head instantly goes to, “you could have done better” or “you’ve been doing this for such a long time, why didn’t you swing the bat or catch the ball.” I have learned though that the more I dwell on the fact I have made a mistake, the worse my game gets. I guess the moral of the story here is, do not dwell on the past mistakes, always look forward.
Now comes the hard part about talking about my fear of failure. I have always strived for perfection. Always had to be perfect and make every play and hit every ball. If I did not, that is when the insecurity kicked in. I was so afraid that everyone was going to be mad at me that I cost us the game, while looking at the big picture, that is not even close to the truth.
It goes a lot deeper than that. It is not just that fear, but also ties into more specifically, the fear of failing my loved ones or those around me. Thinking about all of those things is really intimidating at some points and hard to think about. A constant is ”if I make a mistake then I am going to let my teammates down” or “if I make a mistake then I am going to let my coaches down.” So the question now is, how do I deal with these fears?
The first thing I do is remind myself that it is okay to make a mistake here and there and to remember that no one is going to be mad. Sure they may be a little disappointed but in the end, they are happy that I am on the team. Another thing that I remember is that the team loves me and are here for me. Finally, I always have to remember that my coaches are there to coach. They are there to say ’it’s okay’ and give me advice on how to become a better player overall.
Ultimately, it's important that all athletes know that it is okay to make mistakes here and there and that no one is perfect. It has helped me to know that my teammates have my back no matter what and that my parents and coaches are here to give me advice on how to be a better athlete. I hope that sharing my story through The Observer helps other athletes who may be feeling similar to how I am feeling.
