Being a transfer student feels a lot like being a freshman. Both come with a lot of pressure to fit in, to make friends and to prove that you made the right choice. To achieve these goals, throughout my first semester, I followed the age-old advice: never turn down an invitation. If someone asked me to study, I went; if a club was hosting a party, I RSVP’d yes. I bought a meal plan to get lunch with people on campus, visited the dorm rooms of girls I’d barely met and developed a taste for Cafe J's “boosted lemonades” because I often went after class, even though I hate coffee.
I don’t regret any of it; I had a lot of fun my first semester here, getting to know the campus and the ND community. But this semester, as I lost touch with some people and met others, I realized that I am happier when I only do things I want to do. Rather than anxiously attending every opportunity offered to me because of my fear of missing out, I have chosen to embrace the joy of missing out: JOMO.
As someone with only three years here, I am hyper-aware that our time is short. We don’t have unlimited Saturday nights, semesters to intern or weekday lunches. ND students face pressure to enjoy a lot of things, and choosing ourselves and our priorities can be hard. For me, this has meant minor choices like spending my flex points at LaFortune rather than Chick-fil-A and studying in my friends’ apartment rather than the library. Most recently, it has meant choosing a fall semester in Washington, D.C., over a football season.
I encourage everyone to open themselves up to the power that is JOMO. It can be employed not just in your social life but also in your academics and career decisions. One example: the average Notre Dame student seems to have approximately four majors. I, on the other hand, was only a political science major until just a few months ago, when I was able to add a minor. I did, of course, feel the urge to declare something else when I told people what I was studying, and they replied, “That’s it?” But I chose the joy of missing out and was able to discover a minor that I loved and never would have found otherwise. Missing out helped me explore my options and make the best decision for me.
Another thing I’ve found joy in missing out on is “resume-builders.” I know students who are the president of three clubs, working two jobs and have seven entries on the leadership section of their resume. When I first got here, my FOMO had me filling out club application after club application, trying to become this stereotypical Notre Dame student. Now that I’ve gotten involved and found activities I love, however, I have had a much easier time resisting the club FOMO. I find so much more joy in being selective about the opportunities I apply to; I only go for things I am genuinely excited or passionate about. Even though I sometimes feel less busy than my peers, and I might be less widely involved than some of my friends, I am able to dive so much deeper into the several clubs I genuinely care about than the fifteen I could have been superficially involved with. I have free time, too, that I can choose to invest in trying new things at any time. JOMO has allowed me to trade padding my resume for being spontaneous and devoted to my favorite people, organizations and classes.
There isn’t enough time in the world to read all the books, watch all the shows or make all the friends. Learning to tune out the hype, whether it's from TikTok, my friends or the Notre Dame community, has made me feel more confident in myself, my intuition and my education than I ever have. I only have JOMO to thank.
Sophia Anderson is a sophomore at Notre Dame studying political science. She is a transfer student and plans to go to law school. You can contact her at sander38@nd.edu.
